Good Morning World,
today is a wonderful day. I visited a webcam model aquitance on flirt4free by the name Sean Holmes. I have not seen him in over 6 weeks, since I decided to take a sabbatical time from flirt. The reasons why I was there are very easy and supportive of each other: 1. I WANTED to go there, and 2. RUSS and CID, the friends I met online on there some months ago and with whom I spend hours on flirt and especially with Sean, were not able or willing to go online and support Sean on his show tonight. So I felt obligated for moral support, since it has changed nothing in my financial situation. I admit though, that I used the 2nd reason to cover up or even strengthen the 1st one very much. Shame on me..!
But, I had a great time. A lot of the other viewers I have met in the last 8 months, since I visit Sean, and I had much fun with Sean and them. The only bad side is that it got me so good, I am thinking of going online with Sean tonight again. And, I was tempted to spend money too, which is a BAD thing. So, I am fighting basicly my own urges for playing a simple game, cause my situation is not, and I surely am not simple myself. I strongly believe, that if I would be an easy and simple guy, I would not have those depression issues that much.
The sick time I spend in my appartment in the last 4 months was more than enough to question all what is me or what I am still holding dear from me. Believe me, I never hold myself very much dear at all. So doubting my qualities, doubting my strength and even doubting my values is one side of my sickness and is enforced by the lack of reality and the amount of virtual illusion that you can dream, buy and have in any other way. I bet, a lot of you know what I am talking about., and in case you don't, BE HAPPY and hold on to it.
Well, and why is it still a wonderful day? The sun is shining, I had a talk with a long missed aquintance, I went out shopping fresh food on the weekly farmers market and I am confident, that I might have some good time today.
Apropo good times: OMG, I was in the bus the other day, and I laid my eyes on a pure peace of hotness. Be warned: I know he is far too young, but his presence was so dazzling and mesmerizing, I got a boner looking at his hot body. And, shame on me, I took some pics with my handy phone. I thought for myself: Damn, this should be forbidden, to be hot like this and walk around dressed and giving honest horny gay guys like me such a "hard" time, without the potential situation to touch or to watch him being touched by a similar hot guy. :( Live SUCKS!!!! :D and for those, who call me not a child malester, I know he was at least 4 years to young, but he was over 18 and imagine him in 5 years!!!!!
Well, here you go:
I am not asking what you think, but what DO you think? :) worshipping his hard body, his hot biceps and play with the hidden fruits...! Seufz! Life can be so cruel.
OH, apropo thinking: What did you think about my story? :) Did it "brightens" your imaginations in a certain way? If so, that was supposed to do it, if not, well, I am still trying. :)
Have a great weekend and more self centered stuff will be published on here soon.
Big Hug
MLB
In my blog, I will talk about the things I am very interested in: my life, gay porn, and politics. lol nice mixture, huh? :D
Saturday, 30 June 2012
Friday, 29 June 2012
Erotic Stories, first try! lol
Hi and sorry,
the last days were pretty mixed up. I am preparing my next entry just now, but first I would like to entertain you all a little with something, that I wrote some time ago. It was a present to a friend, which I share with you now. Please remember, I am not a native speaker, and I did not a spell and grammar check. LOL
Anyway, I hope you can enjoy the gesture and have some fun. I will come back to you over the weekend. Enjoy
MLB
the last days were pretty mixed up. I am preparing my next entry just now, but first I would like to entertain you all a little with something, that I wrote some time ago. It was a present to a friend, which I share with you now. Please remember, I am not a native speaker, and I did not a spell and grammar check. LOL
Anyway, I hope you can enjoy the gesture and have some fun. I will come back to you over the weekend. Enjoy
MLB
Jason and Cameron are taking care of you
Jason
rolls down from you, gets up from the bed and takes your hand. He
pulls you up and guides you to his bathroom shower. And he pulls you
firmly under the warm water shower and you are getting hard again.
You can see the water running down his beautiful body, over his hard
pecs and down his amazing abs. Dripping from his long thick dick and
you are grabbing it. Taking it in your hand and start rubbing it. And
Jason moans and turns his face towards the water stream and moans
again. Very deep and so aroused. His big dick is starting to grow
again in your hands and you are slowly going down on your knees.
You
press your lips on those hot abs and kisses them, following the
treasure trail to his mighty dick, that has grown under your firm
hands rubbing it. You are jerking it hard now, with both hands and
above you Jason grunts with pleasure, stretching his arms back
towards the walls to have a grip for that pleasure, that weakenings
his knees. And your lips are touching his head for the first time.
Kissing it, passionately and still gentle. Pressing your lips onto it
and start breathing hot on it. You are licking the purple helmet now,
the big head and entering the piss crack in the middle of his dick.
You are penetrating it and Jason hisses in ecstasy. And with all the
water falling down on you and Jason, you can still taste the salty
and tasty precum of your hunk while you pleasuring him.
And
then, you are wrapping your mouth around the thick head and starting
to suck it into your mouth. Your own shaft is so hard now, leaking
your hot precum and you are starting to jerk on it. Jason starts
pushing his dick inside your mouth and is facefucking you. Overall,
his moans are getting louder and louder and you feel, that he is
getting closer to a climax. With your hands, you are massaging
Jason’s taint and you can see the sack tightening right under your
chin.
“Can
I join you?” you hear that question asked in a husky and excited
voice behind you. As you turn around, you see Cameron, Jason's hot
roommate, who has heard you both in the shower. His muscled body is
covered in sweat, and his mighty dick is already hard and ready for
action. He stands before the both of you and his dick is upright in
the air, moving up and down in the ecstactic feelings he feels right
now by watching you. His face is smirking and you see his blue eyes
glancing at you.
And
you are turning towards Jason, letting his cock escaping from your
mouths and you are blushing again. And Jason smiles his gorgeous
smile, he grabs you, lifts you up to stand before him and pulls you
in a close hug. Your dicks are rubbed against each other and pressed
upright between your stomaches. Then he kisses you passionately and
says: “Only if you really want it.”
And
he looks you deep in the eyes, and his eyes are so hungryand lustful
and expressing his admiration and love for you. And staring back in
those deep eyes, you nod with your head and you turn your face
towards the wall, not to let Cameron see your blushing read face. You
can feel the orgasm rising in your balls and your still captured dick
is twitching in delight.
But
Jason loosens his hug on one side, takes your chin, moves it up and
kisses you. His lips are opening and his tongue is forcing his way
into your mouth. And Cameron is stepping into the shower and stops
right behind you. You can feel his body warmth against your own, the
water hits back from his steel pecs towards your back, he shifts his
hard stiff dick in your ass crack and he closes the gap between you
and him and completes the sandwich hug. And you shoot your first load
up in between you and you are moaning your release.
Jason
is kissing your throat and is slowly going down on you, kissing your
abs and licking away the rest of your cum, and he takes your cock in
his mouths, very deep into his hot throat, massaging it with his lips
and mouth. One hand is massaging your taint, very gently he rubs your
taint with pressure to milk your prostate, and the other hand is
massaging your nipples. Twisting them, circling them with care, but
still making them hard.
Cameron
is kissing your shoulders gently, full of passion and ecstasy and is
licking your back slowly downwards, his hands are grabbing your
cheeks, his mouth is kissing them all over, gently, wet and very
passionate, his hands massaging them and spread them apart to open
your crack for his mouth. His hot and smooth tongue is going between
your cheeks and he starts rimming your ass, licking it up and down,
very wet, very hard and intense.
Cameron’s
tongue circles your hole, he is licking your anus firmly, making it
itching and tickling, and finally he penetrates you with it. You can
feel his tongue inside you, licking the rose and it's going inside
and out, inside and out. His hot muscle is licking your hole in
delight. And he takes his wet finger and teases your hole while he
licks it for you. While you are moaning deeply and ecstatic, Cameron
sticks his finger inside your anus and penetrates you. In and out,
slowly and fast, he let his finger touch your prostate, milking it
and you feel the sensation taking you over again.
Even
under the warm shower, you are starting to shiver from the double
sided pleasure you receive, your skin is covered with goose bumps,
your heart is pounding in your chest, and your cock is getting hard
again. And you can only moan on that sensation that you feel from
these hot muscle guys, who only want to please you and you can feel
their hard dicks touching your calves and feet, peeking it and
rubbing them against you. And their arms are touching you everywhere,
running smoothly all over your goose bumps, trying to make you feel
good.
Now
Jason is going up, letting your hard dick slip out of his warm mouth
and kisses gently all the way up over your abs, your pecs, your neck
to your mouth, and his hands are grabbing your shoulders and start
turning you around. Cameron is letting your cheeks go and takes you
hard dick instead. Grabs it hard and strikes it with a firm and
passionate grip. And now Jason pushes your back down towards Cameron
and places his dick over your ass. He is teasing your crack with his
huge, uncut cock, up and down, and your hole is in delightfull pain.
Jason
shoves his hard shaft inside your anus, and your hole give room with
a itch. He pressures his huge dick right inside and make you gasp in
pleasure, letting the dick twitching inside your hole and massaging
your prostate. So sexy, so hot, you need to grab Cameron’s
shoulders for support. And Cameron goes between your legs, grabs your
dick from your abs and takes it deep into his mouth. Slurps the
precum from it and milks you with the tight warmth of his throat. And
Jason is thrusting you and you are facefucking Cameron, and he gags
on your hard dick. Still he is still stroking his hot dick with one
hand while he still sits in the water that rains down from you and
Jason.
And
Jason is holding your waist very tight, so that he can fuck you very
hard and intense, so hot and powerful. And you are breathing heavyly
because of that massive dick attack and the intense blow job on your
dick. Your arms are trembling and your knees are getting weak from
all those ecstatic feelings that explode all over your body and you
are just brewing a new orgasm in your balls. You feel so hot with
that huge dick up your ass and you just wanna shoot your load into
Cameron’s mouth.
But
Cameron is letting your dick go out of his mouth and stands up in
front of you. He takes your chin into his hand and he comes closer to
your lips, and you are blushing again, blushing to stay so aroused in
front of that hot hunk, who lusts after you, who wants to stick his
hard dick inside you and make you blow your load all over the place.
And
Cameron grabs Jason’s hand from your shoulder and pulls you towards
him. Jason steps back from body, he is holding your hand and lifts it
up to his hard and pounding chest, he let his huge dick slip out from
your hole, heavily breathing, all sweaty and very, very horny. And
Jason takes your hand now and pulls you onto him, while he goes down
on the floor. On his back, he makes you sit in front of his face and
he takes your throbbing dick into his mouth, full of precum, fully
erected and ready to blow your big fat load.
On
your knees, you are grabbing Jason’s shoulders and you are lifting
up your butt for Cameron. And Cameron stands behind you, he bends his
strong, muscular legs and sticks his stiff and massive dick right
into your wet and already swollen hole. And you jump forward on that
forceful shoving in, moaning in sheer joy and ecstasy.
Jason
gags hardly on your dick while you move forward from that fuck
attack. And Cameron is fucking you fast and forceful with his thick
shaft and you are pushing your butt back onto his dick with each
thrust, he is pulling you back towards him and you are loosing
Jason’s mouth around your cock, and Jason is heavily breathing and
your cock is rubbing his abs now with each move from Cameron.
Jason’s
dick is precumming, it's so hard and ready for action, moving just
right under you, you can feel it teasing your ass crack, your taint
and your hole, and you can feel Cameron’s’s pounding body, his
hard abs on your ass, his big bulging arms on your shoulders and you
can feel him breathing hot against your back, fast and restless.
And
Cameron pulls his dick out of you again and Jason enters you
immediatly. Squeezes that huge, thick dick all the way in your hole,
with one hard thrust up your body. He makes you enjoy the delightful
pleasure of this mighty dick, massaging your rose, bouncing up and
down, sticking it right inside you and hits against your prostate.
Now
is Cameron rubbing his dick against Jason’s mighty cock and he
forces his stiff and powerful shaft all the way up, along Jason’s
crotch until it reaches and teases your already taken hole, and he is
pressuring onto your rose, so powerful, his precumming dick lubes it
and finally your hole gives in and opens up for Cameron tool too.
And
you are screaming so load, Jason is grunting in your ears and Cameron
moans in sheer pleasure. In and out they fuck you, in and out of that
tight and swollen hole, they shove both dicks inside your shaking and
shivering body. You arms are bending in and you are now laying down
on Jason’s steel hard chest and you hear his heart pounding along
with yours.
And
Cameron bends over to lay down on your back and you are moving along
in a steady fast and powerful rhythm, and you cock is leaking precum
in such a big amount, making Jason’s Abs wet and mixes with his
sweat. You are ready to explode again, and you can feel Cameron
touching around your waist and grabbing your dick, milking it, while
Jason is touching your taint and massaging it in delight. So
powerful, so horned up and so hot and sexy you are getting fucked by
two mighty dicks, faster and faster, harder and harder.
And
you shoot your big load up to Jason’s face and chin, covering it in
white creamy strikes of cum. And both guys shoot the same time and
fill your ass with their hot loads of cum, and you can feel that hot
load making your cum shot longer and more intense as you have ever
felt it before. Finally, you stop shooting and try to catch your
breath, while both guys still stick inside your mangled and raped
hole.
Then
they both retreat from it at the same time, leaving you with the
sweet tast of blood pumping emptyness in your anus, both catching
their heavy breathing and trying to slower their fast beating hearts,
and you kneel beside Jason on one side and Cameron gets on this knees
on the other side and while the cum drips out of your hole, you are
licking your own cum from Jason’s chin, while Cameron is licking it
from Jason’s muscled chest and you kiss Jason with your own mouth
covered from his cum and you both finally lay down in Jason’s arms,
cuddle onto him and let the warm shower wash away the traces of your
heavy sex session in the shower.
Sunday, 24 June 2012
Great times happen to me too
Howdy!
I had a great day today!
What a statement from me, that was missing for far too long. My cousin was here at my parents house today with her spouse, her sweet and beautiful daughter, her mother in law and the mothers girlfriend and we had a wonderful time: full of laughter, full of talk and happyness and thanks to my mom, we had a great, great meal together.
And then, the mothers girlfriend Elizabeth, who is a professional coach for improving peoples communication and soft skills and helds training sessions for job applications, rhetorical training and a lot of other important stuff for people in need, well, Elisabeth, she sat down with me for 5 hours!!!! And damn, she worked me good, while we went through all my stuff and recreated a whole new me. At least on paper, and I have to say, that even I still have a lot, lot, lot to work on, it gave me a complete new idea to present myself. DAMN, I would defenitly hire me reading that stuff. LOL, and believe me folks, this has not been often the case in my own case.
Despite what people who know me might think: deep in my heard, I am an insecure person, who doubts very much my own value and my place in life and so the right presentation is something, that I do not master until today. Even after near 20 years of working experience now, with my achievments on sucesses in business and in my private life, I am still very modest and therefore hard to communicate my great beneficial attributes. But, thanks to Elizabeth, I am having at least my focus on the things that I really can be proud of and have written proof to show it also. And to this strenghts and better sides of me, I am turning all my communication now. Its still a long way, but I am confident I will not blow it up.
Ok y'all. I will not bother you furthermore. I wish you all, that you did had a happy sunday too, and that the sun will shine for you all today, tomorrow and mostly in your life. :D
Big Hug
MLB
I had a great day today!
What a statement from me, that was missing for far too long. My cousin was here at my parents house today with her spouse, her sweet and beautiful daughter, her mother in law and the mothers girlfriend and we had a wonderful time: full of laughter, full of talk and happyness and thanks to my mom, we had a great, great meal together.
And then, the mothers girlfriend Elizabeth, who is a professional coach for improving peoples communication and soft skills and helds training sessions for job applications, rhetorical training and a lot of other important stuff for people in need, well, Elisabeth, she sat down with me for 5 hours!!!! And damn, she worked me good, while we went through all my stuff and recreated a whole new me. At least on paper, and I have to say, that even I still have a lot, lot, lot to work on, it gave me a complete new idea to present myself. DAMN, I would defenitly hire me reading that stuff. LOL, and believe me folks, this has not been often the case in my own case.
Despite what people who know me might think: deep in my heard, I am an insecure person, who doubts very much my own value and my place in life and so the right presentation is something, that I do not master until today. Even after near 20 years of working experience now, with my achievments on sucesses in business and in my private life, I am still very modest and therefore hard to communicate my great beneficial attributes. But, thanks to Elizabeth, I am having at least my focus on the things that I really can be proud of and have written proof to show it also. And to this strenghts and better sides of me, I am turning all my communication now. Its still a long way, but I am confident I will not blow it up.
Ok y'all. I will not bother you furthermore. I wish you all, that you did had a happy sunday too, and that the sun will shine for you all today, tomorrow and mostly in your life. :D
Big Hug
MLB
Saturday, 23 June 2012
Intermission
Hello, hello! :)
Sorry, I was a little busy the last days, so I apologize for my late new post and that I have used the patience of the two followers I have (just kidding, noone follows me now...! LOL).
Well, since my cousins wedding, that was supposed to be yesterday, was postphoned due to a medical reason with his future spouse, I had the day for me. And believe me or not, I used it and today too, to identify potential jobs for me. :) Yeah, miracles happen every day. And, to my surprise, I found some ads, that were really interesting. So, today and tomorrow, I will update my CV and will apply online for those jobs. Why? Well, I need to get going, thats the main goal. Even if I still have not decided what to do with my life and which direction I should decide to continue it after those last three horrible years. Deciding this from a point of strenght (a JOB), I will still have the opportunity and the luxury to decide what will be the best thing for me. :)
So, overall, I am pretty happy, and its necessary after all this gloomy stuff I am telling the world.
I keep you updated, and I am going to bed now.:) pretty late here and tomorrow we will have a huge family lunch, where I am actually excited about. Yeah, I am surprised myself, but always to hide is not good for the soul and if you can meet with people you really love, that is pretty awesome.
World, have a great weekend and I hope you check up on me furthermore. :)
Big Hug
MLB
Sorry, I was a little busy the last days, so I apologize for my late new post and that I have used the patience of the two followers I have (just kidding, noone follows me now...! LOL).
Well, since my cousins wedding, that was supposed to be yesterday, was postphoned due to a medical reason with his future spouse, I had the day for me. And believe me or not, I used it and today too, to identify potential jobs for me. :) Yeah, miracles happen every day. And, to my surprise, I found some ads, that were really interesting. So, today and tomorrow, I will update my CV and will apply online for those jobs. Why? Well, I need to get going, thats the main goal. Even if I still have not decided what to do with my life and which direction I should decide to continue it after those last three horrible years. Deciding this from a point of strenght (a JOB), I will still have the opportunity and the luxury to decide what will be the best thing for me. :)
So, overall, I am pretty happy, and its necessary after all this gloomy stuff I am telling the world.
I keep you updated, and I am going to bed now.:) pretty late here and tomorrow we will have a huge family lunch, where I am actually excited about. Yeah, I am surprised myself, but always to hide is not good for the soul and if you can meet with people you really love, that is pretty awesome.
World, have a great weekend and I hope you check up on me furthermore. :)
Big Hug
MLB
Monday, 18 June 2012
I should move on, just getting started (???)
Hello World
since I posted about my strange day yesterday, I continued my own strange behaviour today to do all the things I know to be wrong, but still have done them because I was too distracted, too weak, too lazy or all of the above to change it.
For example: I should have gone to the unemployment agency to notify them that I am in need of a job as of the 1st of August 2012. I might get some finincial support from them too, which is still unclear because I have not gone yet (nearly two months since I got fired while I was on sick leave). And if I ask me why, I can only come to those explanations:
- I am ashamed and
- I am not in deep shit enough
Both should not be considered reasonable behaviour for a grown up, that has experienced some bad years but still has the luxury not to be forced to take on some drastic steps to get grip of my life again. That is the next nice situation to ask: What does that say about me???
Well, I should start to anwer that question soon, because I need to have a midterm perspective soon or my life will turn real bad soon.
On the positive side, I got my first comment on my blog from a friend. :) Is that more or less valuable for it? :D I think, since he operates his own blog, its a great compliment. :)
So, THANK YOU, Mark! :)
And I have spoken to another friend in Down Under, that I have not spoken in four weeks. We discussed mostly all the models on that webcaming site I am trying not to log onto again. Since I fail there everyday, even that I do not join models in the room, spend time or money in it, I am still not strong enough to stay away, nor is my interest on what is going on with the site and the models gotten weaker in now 4 weeks. :( I will have a long time to recover.
Oh well, this coming Friday I have a wedding in my family, and since noone knows of my situation so far, I am very tempted to find an excuse not to go there, and I could use also the money that I need ot spend otherwise on a train ticket and on a gift. OMG, I am really fucked up lately.
ok, before I let you all go to sleep over my endless complains, I will say this: stay tune for more shit coming soon. :)
Big Hug
MLB
Sunday, 17 June 2012
In Between Times
Hello World!
- I started my blog! Something that I wanted to do for weeks (ask my friend CID from Down_Under and all the nervs it costs him and still counting....lol), but never had the nerves to do. Who will read what I have to say? I do not consider myself that important that others will seek my "wisdome" or "advise"...! The future will tell...!!
Today is a very strange day for me. A lot of things are influencing my mood, and most of them just bring me down.
Positive:
- I started my blog! Something that I wanted to do for weeks (ask my friend CID from Down_Under and all the nervs it costs him and still counting....lol), but never had the nerves to do. Who will read what I have to say? I do not consider myself that important that others will seek my "wisdome" or "advise"...! The future will tell...!!
- My lunch was fantastic. I have to admit, a roasted chicken is delicious, even if it seduces me to eat more than I should. But luckily, mankind have not yet invented half chicken breeds...! And I should leave the chicken skin, which reduces the amount of calories a LOT!!! :( but it tastes especially good...!!!!!
- In the morning, I joined a long, long webchat conversation with two of my friends for more than three hours. CID from Down-Under and RUSS from the US East Coast (don't wonder about the name: I simply have forgotten to ask the boys what name I should use for them, which I will do soon). Those guys were a fixed part in my daily life over the last 5 months, but we have changed and so I am very grateful for this opportunity today.
Negative:
- I am still not able to move on. Since I got sick with my hand and my neck, even now that both have been a lot better I am still not able to concentrate enough on continuing with my life and giving myself a future by looking seriously for a job or what I will do with my life. I see the sword above my head falling down in less than two months, but still I am too afraid to decide to move at all. What says that about me?
- I have given up an addiction, at least I am still trying to. During the last year, where it started as a habbit to get my mind of from important problems of myself, it started to grow to be my near financial ruin nowadays and leaves a hole in my day. During that time I get very fond on webcaming with very goodlooking, very nice guys, who I stupidly "promoted" in my head to become close friends after a short time, so I spend a lot of money with them and even more time in their webcam room and abroad chatting and "working on our relationship". For some, I can say, we have envolved beyond financial things, and we are on the road to become friends, but for others I may have been a nice, entertaining and interesting addition to their individual room, but not more. I can only raise the same question as before: What does that say about me?
- Politically, today is a very special day: 59 years ago, workers in East-Berlin and abroad the capitol in the former German Democratic Republic which were protesting against new work orders, were brutally brought down today by the Administration and the for aid called military forces of the former occupation army. It reminds me, that the road to hell is built of good intentions and sometimes the revolution eats up its own children for the sake of staying in power and influence.
- Also today are two important elections in Europe, that will influence the outcome of the Crisis in Europe very much: 2nd round of parliament election in France, and the new attempt to get an administration up and running through a parliament election in Greece. Especially the last one will have immediate impacts tomorrow, when the working week will start. Well, I hope, that we are prepared on whatever outcome we gain, and deal with it. LOL, did I say deal with it? OMG, if you get to know me, you will know why I am laughing on that bad choice of words....! :(
So, thats my day so far. Besides thinking of what to enter here for the "real" first blog entry, I just watched online movies on also very depressing things (Hotel Ruanda and others). I wonder, when I ask myself last, if my choice of movies will affect my mood????
More to come for you.
Big Hug
MLB
PS: I wish, I were in Stockholm again. During a visit of friends two years ago, I had the great opportunity to see this beautiful capitol of Sweden. Anyone been in Stockholm lately?
Blogging for Dummies (p.s.: the dummy is me!)
Hello dear World
Its my first time, I am blogging, so be patient. :) And honestly, I am still thinking of what to blog anyways. lol
Well, its my first entry, I hope, it works (will check myself) and then, well, then we will see. :)
Enjoy!
Big Hug
MLB
Its my first time, I am blogging, so be patient. :) And honestly, I am still thinking of what to blog anyways. lol
Well, its my first entry, I hope, it works (will check myself) and then, well, then we will see. :)
Enjoy!
Big Hug
MLB
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