Hardon No. 3

Well, I love his biceps...! Big, hard and peaked. He has also great abs and cum gutters, and of course, his dick is more than just suckable...! Hmmm, I am melting....!

Hardon No. 2

Holy Shit!

I wanna so touch and go and go down in his arms, wrestling with him naked and whoever wins, gets fucked. I would surely be the winner in each case, because fucking him or getting fucked by him, that does not matter at all. Damn!!!

If live was offering one choice, thats the one I would go for (at least in my horny stage now) lol Enjoy

The Empire (?) stands beside

Dear Blog.

I wanted also to raise political issues and my beliefs and reaction to it here and since I was thinking of it all day, it maybe wise to post it down.

Today was the UK, the potential election about the EU, and the situation between EU/UK in the newspapers again. Lets summarise: The conservative party in the UK is in its majority "anti"-EU, but not anti-European. They refuse centralised power in Brussels, a common constitution for all the EU (besides other EU Members as well, and other more integrational projects like the Schengen Area, but want to contribute and participate on the EU Market for corporations, labour, goods, products and services, and capital. Well, since the Conservatives are in power, together with the pro European and pro EU Liberal democrats, there is a lot going on in the Empire and an public vote, to clarify the future status of the UK in the EU is on the horizon to come soon.

The situation is therefor complicated, that until the 1950s, the UK was a worldwide important Empire, balancing the European powers from the late 18th to the beginning 20th century. After world war 2 and with the time of the Commonwealth, which in its best days was never more than just a council of the UK and former colonies without any direct power, and the freedom of the colonies, the UK importance, as the importance of France too, declined a lot. Even in the last 20 years, the UK lost the predominated role as the first ally of the USA to other countries. Since the UK is a land of remarkable cultural and legal tradition, the change of heart does not follow as soon as reality does. That's why conservative forces in the Empire still see themselves an individual power and not as much as a part of the EU as for example Germany or the Netherlands or Spain. Well, they are not, not in economical, nor in military power anymore. Following the Rumours is the UK also endangered to lose the seat in the UN Security Council because of the lack of renewal of the atomic weapons arsenal.

On the other side are the other Europeans, who are getting sick and tired of the constant role of the UK as the power, who does not wanna go along with most or all of the other countries. The last example was the finance stability agreement, which was stopped for the EU and was therefore "only" implemented for the EU members in the EURO zone. Starting with the former PM Lady M. Thatcher and here famous "I want my money back" in the 1980s, the UK got a substantial discount of more than 30 % on its membership fees for the EU since around 25 years now. Its economy, more and more specialised on capital and investment banking, has grown dependent to the City of London and its financial district. Only Luxembourg has a comparable size in the financial department. So its no wonder, that the UK (other than Luxembourg) is strongly opposed by a financial tax on highly speculative capital transactions within the EU, which will now most likely come in some of the EU countries like France, Germany, the Netherlands, Italy, Spain, Austria and others first.

Two things are probably fair to say:

1. The financial sector is the most responsible economy sector in case of the now worldwide running economical bank crisis, which in its third year 2010 started to influence the EURO in its very existence. Therefore benefits the UK as a bystander from the EURO weakness, not from the own strength of Pound Sterling or the UK economy.
2. The City of London will most likely be the one area in the EU which will profit from this new financial tax. So its quite clear that the UK will remain again as a bystander, where most or the rest of the EU wants to integrate furthermore.

So what will be the outcome? What is the solution here? Three potential situations come to my mind:

1. the UK will leave the EU
2. the UK will remain in the EU and continues the separate country besides the union of others or
3. the UK will further integrate into the EU and will help to develop the EU to a better level

Ok, forget no. 3. That is as unlikely as France will give up his resistance for a true political union. And from the two remaining points it is 50/50 what the outcome will be, as the further EU integration will also allow in the future to do legislation with a qualified majority and not with a unanimous vote. Of course not in the most basic areas but enough, to make the continuity of the role of the UK very delicate. And even with all the difficulties, the UK and its natural pragmatism limits the EU in its bureaucracy and in its sometimes over boarding enthusiasm to centralise what is best solved locally or regionally. So, I hope, the UK stays in the EU, but overcomes its own isolation to become a highly influencing and valuable part in the EU on its way to remain an important power in the world.

Hardons

Friends of hot hardons. :)

After all the doomy, gloomy stuff, its time for some nice, entertaining and nice pics. :) I should start to blog every week a hot guy with a nice big hardon. How does that sound? Well, the quality might switch a bit, but the "details" will be very easy to identify...! lol

And here is our first victim. He is a webcam model (part time), he has a great body and a very ugly attitude towards me, but here its only about his nice big dick and his bulging biceps. Did I mention his abs???? lol

Enjoy

Desires, Desires

Hello Blog! :)

Why do we always desire most what we cannot have?

I just come up with that question, because I wanna be friends with some people, and more and more I get the impression, that my "trying"is pushing them away, no matter if I do it nearly not detectable or I force it out big time . Like its imprinted in all of my action that I am too needy or so. Why is that?

Does it make people uncomfortable, that we are not all the time on our peak or in need for someone to understand? Und why is it, that people who love and adore us, despite all our weaknesses and failures, are sometimes not the ones, we wish for their support in certain situations? Well, Life is not a childrens birthday party, especially since in the past I attended some very scary ones myself. lol

Anyway, I still need to sort out my stuff for a lot of years to follow before I can lay back and think about other solutions. I wish to have the strength and the dedication for it. And I am working on it, but success is a bitch, especially if you are so much down that you are afraid of a positive feedback, which is not a full gain at all and only a first step. BUT I may be a fat cat, but I will fall on my feet. :)

I wish all of you a great day.

Big Hug

MLB

Dramaqueen

Alright World, here is the next drama.

Since the last post, where I felt extraordinary good, reality came back to me BIG time. Even after I managed to get my grip and do my job application documents, now I tend to fear any positive feedback coming in, like a request for an interview or so. I should not have celebrated too soon. At least I have lost some weight, which is by far not enough, but each time I put on a pants, I am happy that I am now able to least breath half of my lung now and if I am continuing, I might breath completely by the end of this months. Great opportunity, lets celebrate with Steak, Salad and Fries...! lol

What is even more disturbing is, that my great feeling on what I am actually able to do as it is listed in my CV now, I am doubting again. But not enough, because I will be without income in three weeks, and I seem not to bother at all...! :( What I notice is that friends of mine are getting annoyed and frustrated on my situation, since the actual distance to kick my ass is too far for them to overcome. Oh well, get used to that level of frustration, I deal with that since three years now...!

OH! and since I am sneeking onto flirt since the end of last months, when I visited one of my friends on there to "support" his winning in the promotion, I am going back under different names on hourly basis every second day. But to fight that one addiction, I created a new one: TADAAAH, I am on twitter now. lol We will see if the Twitter universe is big enough for me.

More hot stuff coming soon. PS: Did anyone read my story and how was it??? lol

Big Hug

MLB

Wonderful Day (very rare occasion)

Good Morning World,

today is a wonderful day. I visited a webcam model aquitance on flirt4free by the name Sean Holmes. I have not seen him in over 6 weeks, since I decided to take a sabbatical time from flirt. The reasons why I was there are very easy and supportive of each other: 1. I WANTED to go there, and 2. RUSS and CID, the friends I met online on there some months ago and with whom I spend hours on flirt and especially with Sean, were not able or willing to go online and support Sean on his show tonight. So I felt obligated for moral support, since it has changed nothing in my financial situation. I admit though, that I used the 2nd reason to cover up or even strengthen the 1st one very much. Shame on me..!

But, I had a great time. A lot of the other viewers I have met in the last 8 months, since I visit Sean, and I had much fun with Sean and them. The only bad side is that it got me so good, I am thinking of going online with Sean tonight again. And, I was tempted to spend money too, which is a BAD thing. So, I am fighting basicly my own urges for playing a simple game, cause my situation is not, and I surely am not simple myself. I strongly believe, that if I would be an easy and simple guy, I would not have those depression issues that much.

The sick time I spend in my appartment in the last 4 months was more than enough to question all what is me or what I am still holding dear from me. Believe me, I never hold myself very much dear at all. So doubting my qualities, doubting my strength and even doubting my values is one side of my sickness and is enforced by the lack of reality and the amount of virtual illusion that you can dream, buy and have in any other way. I bet, a lot of you know what I am talking about., and in case you don't, BE HAPPY and hold on to it.

Well, and why is it still a wonderful day? The sun is shining, I had a talk with a long missed aquintance, I went out shopping fresh food on the weekly farmers market and I am confident, that I might have some good time today.

Apropo good times: OMG, I was in the bus the other day, and I laid my eyes on a pure peace of hotness. Be warned: I know he is far too young, but his presence was so dazzling and mesmerizing, I got a boner looking at his hot body. And, shame on me, I took some pics with my handy phone. I thought for myself: Damn, this should be forbidden, to be hot like this and walk around dressed and giving honest horny gay guys like me such a "hard" time, without the potential situation to touch or to watch him being touched by a similar hot guy. :( Live SUCKS!!!! :D and for those, who call me not a child malester, I know he was at least 4 years to young, but he was over 18 and imagine him in 5 years!!!!!

Well, here you go:

I am not asking what you think, but what DO you think? :) worshipping his hard body, his hot biceps and play with the hidden fruits...! Seufz! Life can be so cruel.

OH, apropo thinking: What did you think about my story? :) Did it "brightens" your imaginations in a certain way? If so, that was supposed to do it, if not, well, I am still trying. :)

Have a great weekend and more self centered stuff will be published on here soon.

Big Hug

MLB

Erotic Stories, first try! lol

Hi and sorry,
the last days were pretty mixed up. I am preparing my next entry just now, but first I would like to entertain you all a little with something, that I wrote some time ago. It was a present to a friend, which I share with you now. Please remember, I am not a native speaker, and I did not a spell and grammar check. LOL
Anyway, I hope you can enjoy the gesture and have some fun. I will come back to you over the weekend. Enjoy

MLB

Jason and Cameron are taking care of you

Jason rolls down from you, gets up from the bed and takes your hand. He pulls you up and guides you to his bathroom shower. And he pulls you firmly under the warm water shower and you are getting hard again. You can see the water running down his beautiful body, over his hard pecs and down his amazing abs. Dripping from his long thick dick and you are grabbing it. Taking it in your hand and start rubbing it. And Jason moans and turns his face towards the water stream and moans again. Very deep and so aroused. His big dick is starting to grow again in your hands and you are slowly going down on your knees.

You press your lips on those hot abs and kisses them, following the treasure trail to his mighty dick, that has grown under your firm hands rubbing it. You are jerking it hard now, with both hands and above you Jason grunts with pleasure, stretching his arms back towards the walls to have a grip for that pleasure, that weakenings his knees. And your lips are touching his head for the first time. Kissing it, passionately and still gentle. Pressing your lips onto it and start breathing hot on it. You are licking the purple helmet now, the big head and entering the piss crack in the middle of his dick. You are penetrating it and Jason hisses in ecstasy. And with all the water falling down on you and Jason, you can still taste the salty and tasty precum of your hunk while you pleasuring him.

And then, you are wrapping your mouth around the thick head and starting to suck it into your mouth. Your own shaft is so hard now, leaking your hot precum and you are starting to jerk on it. Jason starts pushing his dick inside your mouth and is facefucking you. Overall, his moans are getting louder and louder and you feel, that he is getting closer to a climax. With your hands, you are massaging Jason’s taint and you can see the sack tightening right under your chin.

“Can I join you?” you hear that question asked in a husky and excited voice behind you. As you turn around, you see Cameron, Jason's hot roommate, who has heard you both in the shower. His muscled body is covered in sweat, and his mighty dick is already hard and ready for action. He stands before the both of you and his dick is upright in the air, moving up and down in the ecstactic feelings he feels right now by watching you. His face is smirking and you see his blue eyes glancing at you.

And you are turning towards Jason, letting his cock escaping from your mouths and you are blushing again. And Jason smiles his gorgeous smile, he grabs you, lifts you up to stand before him and pulls you in a close hug. Your dicks are rubbed against each other and pressed upright between your stomaches. Then he kisses you passionately and says: “Only if you really want it.”

And he looks you deep in the eyes, and his eyes are so hungryand lustful and expressing his admiration and love for you. And staring back in those deep eyes, you nod with your head and you turn your face towards the wall, not to let Cameron see your blushing read face. You can feel the orgasm rising in your balls and your still captured dick is twitching in delight.

But Jason loosens his hug on one side, takes your chin, moves it up and kisses you. His lips are opening and his tongue is forcing his way into your mouth. And Cameron is stepping into the shower and stops right behind you. You can feel his body warmth against your own, the water hits back from his steel pecs towards your back, he shifts his hard stiff dick in your ass crack and he closes the gap between you and him and completes the sandwich hug. And you shoot your first load up in between you and you are moaning your release.

Jason is kissing your throat and is slowly going down on you, kissing your abs and licking away the rest of your cum, and he takes your cock in his mouths, very deep into his hot throat, massaging it with his lips and mouth. One hand is massaging your taint, very gently he rubs your taint with pressure to milk your prostate, and the other hand is massaging your nipples. Twisting them, circling them with care, but still making them hard.

Cameron is kissing your shoulders gently, full of passion and ecstasy and is licking your back slowly downwards, his hands are grabbing your cheeks, his mouth is kissing them all over, gently, wet and very passionate, his hands massaging them and spread them apart to open your crack for his mouth. His hot and smooth tongue is going between your cheeks and he starts rimming your ass, licking it up and down, very wet, very hard and intense.

Cameron’s tongue circles your hole, he is licking your anus firmly, making it itching and tickling, and finally he penetrates you with it. You can feel his tongue inside you, licking the rose and it's going inside and out, inside and out. His hot muscle is licking your hole in delight. And he takes his wet finger and teases your hole while he licks it for you. While you are moaning deeply and ecstatic, Cameron sticks his finger inside your anus and penetrates you. In and out, slowly and fast, he let his finger touch your prostate, milking it and you feel the sensation taking you over again.

Even under the warm shower, you are starting to shiver from the double sided pleasure you receive, your skin is covered with goose bumps, your heart is pounding in your chest, and your cock is getting hard again. And you can only moan on that sensation that you feel from these hot muscle guys, who only want to please you and you can feel their hard dicks touching your calves and feet, peeking it and rubbing them against you. And their arms are touching you everywhere, running smoothly all over your goose bumps, trying to make you feel good.

Now Jason is going up, letting your hard dick slip out of his warm mouth and kisses gently all the way up over your abs, your pecs, your neck to your mouth, and his hands are grabbing your shoulders and start turning you around. Cameron is letting your cheeks go and takes you hard dick instead. Grabs it hard and strikes it with a firm and passionate grip. And now Jason pushes your back down towards Cameron and places his dick over your ass. He is teasing your crack with his huge, uncut cock, up and down, and your hole is in delightfull pain.

Jason shoves his hard shaft inside your anus, and your hole give room with a itch. He pressures his huge dick right inside and make you gasp in pleasure, letting the dick twitching inside your hole and massaging your prostate. So sexy, so hot, you need to grab Cameron’s shoulders for support. And Cameron goes between your legs, grabs your dick from your abs and takes it deep into his mouth. Slurps the precum from it and milks you with the tight warmth of his throat. And Jason is thrusting you and you are facefucking Cameron, and he gags on your hard dick. Still he is still stroking his hot dick with one hand while he still sits in the water that rains down from you and Jason.

And Jason is holding your waist very tight, so that he can fuck you very hard and intense, so hot and powerful. And you are breathing heavyly because of that massive dick attack and the intense blow job on your dick. Your arms are trembling and your knees are getting weak from all those ecstatic feelings that explode all over your body and you are just brewing a new orgasm in your balls. You feel so hot with that huge dick up your ass and you just wanna shoot your load into Cameron’s mouth.

But Cameron is letting your dick go out of his mouth and stands up in front of you. He takes your chin into his hand and he comes closer to your lips, and you are blushing again, blushing to stay so aroused in front of that hot hunk, who lusts after you, who wants to stick his hard dick inside you and make you blow your load all over the place.

And Cameron grabs Jason’s hand from your shoulder and pulls you towards him. Jason steps back from body, he is holding your hand and lifts it up to his hard and pounding chest, he let his huge dick slip out from your hole, heavily breathing, all sweaty and very, very horny. And Jason takes your hand now and pulls you onto him, while he goes down on the floor. On his back, he makes you sit in front of his face and he takes your throbbing dick into his mouth, full of precum, fully erected and ready to blow your big fat load.

On your knees, you are grabbing Jason’s shoulders and you are lifting up your butt for Cameron. And Cameron stands behind you, he bends his strong, muscular legs and sticks his stiff and massive dick right into your wet and already swollen hole. And you jump forward on that forceful shoving in, moaning in sheer joy and ecstasy.

Jason gags hardly on your dick while you move forward from that fuck attack. And Cameron is fucking you fast and forceful with his thick shaft and you are pushing your butt back onto his dick with each thrust, he is pulling you back towards him and you are loosing Jason’s mouth around your cock, and Jason is heavily breathing and your cock is rubbing his abs now with each move from Cameron.

Jason’s dick is precumming, it's so hard and ready for action, moving just right under you, you can feel it teasing your ass crack, your taint and your hole, and you can feel Cameron’s’s pounding body, his hard abs on your ass, his big bulging arms on your shoulders and you can feel him breathing hot against your back, fast and restless.

And Cameron pulls his dick out of you again and Jason enters you immediatly. Squeezes that huge, thick dick all the way in your hole, with one hard thrust up your body. He makes you enjoy the delightful pleasure of this mighty dick, massaging your rose, bouncing up and down, sticking it right inside you and hits against your prostate.

Now is Cameron rubbing his dick against Jason’s mighty cock and he forces his stiff and powerful shaft all the way up, along Jason’s crotch until it reaches and teases your already taken hole, and he is pressuring onto your rose, so powerful, his precumming dick lubes it and finally your hole gives in and opens up for Cameron tool too.

And you are screaming so load, Jason is grunting in your ears and Cameron moans in sheer pleasure. In and out they fuck you, in and out of that tight and swollen hole, they shove both dicks inside your shaking and shivering body. You arms are bending in and you are now laying down on Jason’s steel hard chest and you hear his heart pounding along with yours.

And Cameron bends over to lay down on your back and you are moving along in a steady fast and powerful rhythm, and you cock is leaking precum in such a big amount, making Jason’s Abs wet and mixes with his sweat. You are ready to explode again, and you can feel Cameron touching around your waist and grabbing your dick, milking it, while Jason is touching your taint and massaging it in delight. So powerful, so horned up and so hot and sexy you are getting fucked by two mighty dicks, faster and faster, harder and harder.

And you shoot your big load up to Jason’s face and chin, covering it in white creamy strikes of cum. And both guys shoot the same time and fill your ass with their hot loads of cum, and you can feel that hot load making your cum shot longer and more intense as you have ever felt it before. Finally, you stop shooting and try to catch your breath, while both guys still stick inside your mangled and raped hole.

Then they both retreat from it at the same time, leaving you with the sweet tast of blood pumping emptyness in your anus, both catching their heavy breathing and trying to slower their fast beating hearts, and you kneel beside Jason on one side and Cameron gets on this knees on the other side and while the cum drips out of your hole, you are licking your own cum from Jason’s chin, while Cameron is licking it from Jason’s muscled chest and you kiss Jason with your own mouth covered from his cum and you both finally lay down in Jason’s arms, cuddle onto him and let the warm shower wash away the traces of your heavy sex session in the shower.

Great times happen to me too

Howdy!

I had a great day today!

What a statement from me, that was missing for far too long. My cousin was here at my parents house today with her spouse, her sweet and beautiful daughter, her mother in law and the mothers girlfriend and we had a wonderful time: full of laughter, full of talk and happyness and thanks to my mom, we had a great, great meal together.

And then, the mothers girlfriend Elizabeth, who is a professional coach for improving peoples communication and soft skills and helds training sessions for job applications, rhetorical training and a lot of other important stuff for people in need, well, Elisabeth, she sat down with me for 5 hours!!!! And damn, she worked me good, while we went through all my stuff and recreated a whole new me. At least on paper, and I have to say, that even I still have a lot, lot, lot to work on, it gave me a complete new idea to present myself. DAMN, I would defenitly hire me reading that stuff. LOL, and believe me folks, this has not been often the case in my own case.

Despite what people who know me might think: deep in my heard, I am an insecure person, who doubts very much my own value and my place in life and so the right presentation is something, that I do not master until today. Even after near 20 years of working experience now, with my achievments on sucesses in business and in my private life, I am still very modest and therefore hard to communicate my great beneficial attributes. But, thanks to Elizabeth, I am having at least my focus on the things that I really can be proud of and have written proof to show it also. And to this strenghts and better sides of me, I am turning all my communication now. Its still a long way, but I am confident I will not blow it up.

Ok y'all. I will not bother you furthermore. I wish you all, that you did had a happy sunday too, and that the sun will shine for you all today, tomorrow and mostly in your life. :D

Big Hug

MLB

Intermission

Hello, hello! :)

Sorry, I was a little busy the last days, so I apologize for my late new post and that I have used the patience of the two followers I have (just kidding, noone follows me now...! LOL).

Well, since my cousins wedding, that was supposed to be yesterday, was postphoned due to a medical reason with his future spouse, I had the day for me. And believe me or not, I used it and today too, to identify potential jobs for me. :) Yeah, miracles happen every day. And, to my surprise, I found some ads, that were really interesting. So, today and tomorrow, I will update my CV and will apply online for those jobs. Why? Well, I need to get going, thats the main goal. Even if I still have not decided what to do with my life and which direction I should decide to continue it after those last three horrible years. Deciding this from a point of strenght (a JOB), I will still have the opportunity and the luxury to decide what will be the best thing for me. :)

So, overall, I am pretty happy, and its necessary after all this gloomy stuff I am telling the world.

I keep you updated, and I am going to bed now.:) pretty late here and tomorrow we will have a huge family lunch, where I am actually excited about. Yeah, I am surprised myself, but always to hide is not good for the soul and if you can meet with people you really love, that is pretty awesome.

World, have a great weekend and I hope you check up on me furthermore. :)

Big Hug

MLB

I should move on, just getting started (???)

Hello World

since I posted about my strange day yesterday, I continued my own strange behaviour today to do all the things I know to be wrong, but still have done them because I was too distracted, too weak, too lazy or all of the above to change it. 

For example: I should have gone to the unemployment agency to notify them that I am in need of a job as of the 1st of August 2012. I might get some finincial support from them too, which is still unclear because I have not gone yet (nearly two months since I got fired while I was on sick leave).  And if I ask me why, I can only come to those explanations:

- I am ashamed and

- I am not in deep shit enough

Both should not be considered reasonable behaviour for a grown up, that has experienced some bad years but still has the luxury not to be forced to take on some drastic steps to get grip of my life again. That is the next nice situation to ask: What does that say about me???

Well, I should start to anwer that question soon, because I need to have a midterm perspective soon or my life will turn real bad soon. 

On the positive side, I got my first comment on my blog from a friend. :) Is that more or less valuable for it? :D I think, since he operates his own blog, its a great compliment. :) 

So, THANK YOU, Mark! :)

And I have spoken to another friend in Down Under, that I have not spoken in four weeks. We discussed mostly all the models on that webcaming site I am trying not to log onto again. Since I fail there everyday, even that I do not join models in the room, spend time or money in it, I am still not strong enough to stay away, nor is my interest on what is going on with the site and the models gotten weaker in now 4 weeks. :( I will have a long time to recover.

Oh well, this coming Friday I have a wedding in my family, and since noone knows of my situation so far, I am very tempted to find an excuse not to go there, and I could use also the money that I need ot spend otherwise on a train ticket and on a gift. OMG, I am really fucked up lately.

ok, before I let you all go to sleep over my endless complains, I will say this: stay tune for more shit coming soon. :)

Big Hug

MLB

In Between Times

Hello World!

Today is a very strange day for me. A lot of things are influencing my mood, and most of them just bring me down.

Positive:

- I started my blog! Something that I wanted to do for weeks (ask my friend CID from Down_Under and all the nervs it costs him and still counting....lol), but never had the nerves to do. Who will read what I have to say? I do not consider myself that important that others will seek my "wisdome" or "advise"...! The future will tell...!!

- My lunch was fantastic. I have to admit, a roasted chicken is delicious, even if it seduces me to eat more than I should. But luckily, mankind have not yet invented half chicken breeds...! And I should leave the chicken skin, which reduces the amount of calories a LOT!!! :( but it tastes especially good...!!!!!

- In the morning, I joined a long, long webchat conversation with two of my friends for more than three hours. CID from Down-Under and RUSS from the US East Coast (don't wonder about the name: I simply have forgotten to ask the boys what name I should use for them, which I will do soon). Those guys were a fixed part in my daily life over the last 5 months, but we have changed and so I am very grateful for this opportunity today.

Negative:

- I am still not able to move on. Since I got sick with my hand and my neck, even now that both have been a lot better I am still not able to concentrate enough on continuing with my life and giving myself a future by looking seriously for a job or what I will do with my life. I see the sword above my head falling down in less than two months, but still I am too afraid to decide to move at all. What says that about me?

- I have given up an addiction, at least I am still trying to. During the last year, where it started as a habbit to get my mind of from important problems of myself, it started to grow to be my near financial ruin nowadays and leaves a hole in my day. During that time I get very fond on webcaming with very goodlooking, very nice guys, who I stupidly "promoted" in my head to become close friends after a short time, so I spend a lot of money with them and even more time in their webcam room and abroad chatting and "working on our relationship". For some, I can say, we have envolved beyond financial things, and we are on the road to become friends, but for others I may have been a nice, entertaining and interesting addition to their individual room, but not more. I can only raise the same question as before: What does that say about me?

- Politically, today is a very special day: 59 years ago, workers in East-Berlin and abroad the capitol in the former German Democratic Republic which were protesting against new work orders, were brutally brought down today by the Administration and the for aid called military forces of the former occupation army. It reminds me, that the road to hell is built of good intentions and sometimes the revolution eats up its own children for the sake of staying in power and influence.

- Also today are two important elections in Europe, that will influence the outcome of the Crisis in Europe very much: 2nd round of parliament election in France, and the new attempt to get an administration up and running through a parliament election in Greece. Especially the last one will have immediate impacts tomorrow, when the working week will start. Well, I hope, that we are prepared on whatever outcome we gain, and deal with it. LOL, did I say deal with it? OMG, if you get to know me, you will know why I am laughing on that bad choice of words....! :(

So, thats my day so far. Besides thinking of what to enter here for the "real" first blog entry, I just watched online movies on also very depressing things (Hotel Ruanda and others). I wonder, when I ask myself last, if my choice of movies will affect my mood????

More to come for you.

Big Hug

MLB

PS: I wish, I were in Stockholm again. During a visit of friends two years ago, I had the great opportunity to see this beautiful capitol of Sweden. Anyone been in Stockholm lately?

Blogging for Dummies (p.s.: the dummy is me!)

Hello dear World

Its my first time, I am blogging, so be patient. :) And honestly, I am still thinking of what to blog anyways. lol

Well, its my first entry, I hope, it works (will check myself) and then, well, then we will see. :)

Enjoy!

Big Hug

MLB