In Between Times

Hello World!

Today is a very strange day for me. A lot of things are influencing my mood, and most of them just bring me down.

Positive:

- I started my blog! Something that I wanted to do for weeks (ask my friend CID from Down_Under and all the nervs it costs him and still counting....lol), but never had the nerves to do. Who will read what I have to say? I do not consider myself that important that others will seek my "wisdome" or "advise"...! The future will tell...!!

- My lunch was fantastic. I have to admit, a roasted chicken is delicious, even if it seduces me to eat more than I should. But luckily, mankind have not yet invented half chicken breeds...! And I should leave the chicken skin, which reduces the amount of calories a LOT!!! :( but it tastes especially good...!!!!!

- In the morning, I joined a long, long webchat conversation with two of my friends for more than three hours. CID from Down-Under and RUSS from the US East Coast (don't wonder about the name: I simply have forgotten to ask the boys what name I should use for them, which I will do soon). Those guys were a fixed part in my daily life over the last 5 months, but we have changed and so I am very grateful for this opportunity today.

Negative:

- I am still not able to move on. Since I got sick with my hand and my neck, even now that both have been a lot better I am still not able to concentrate enough on continuing with my life and giving myself a future by looking seriously for a job or what I will do with my life. I see the sword above my head falling down in less than two months, but still I am too afraid to decide to move at all. What says that about me?

- I have given up an addiction, at least I am still trying to. During the last year, where it started as a habbit to get my mind of from important problems of myself, it started to grow to be my near financial ruin nowadays and leaves a hole in my day. During that time I get very fond on webcaming with very goodlooking, very nice guys, who I stupidly "promoted" in my head to become close friends after a short time, so I spend a lot of money with them and even more time in their webcam room and abroad chatting and "working on our relationship". For some, I can say, we have envolved beyond financial things, and we are on the road to become friends, but for others I may have been a nice, entertaining and interesting addition to their individual room, but not more. I can only raise the same question as before: What does that say about me?

- Politically, today is a very special day: 59 years ago, workers in East-Berlin and abroad the capitol in the former German Democratic Republic which were protesting against new work orders, were brutally brought down today by the Administration and the for aid called military forces of the former occupation army. It reminds me, that the road to hell is built of good intentions and sometimes the revolution eats up its own children for the sake of staying in power and influence.

- Also today are two important elections in Europe, that will influence the outcome of the Crisis in Europe very much: 2nd round of parliament election in France, and the new attempt to get an administration up and running through a parliament election in Greece. Especially the last one will have immediate impacts tomorrow, when the working week will start. Well, I hope, that we are prepared on whatever outcome we gain, and deal with it. LOL, did I say deal with it? OMG, if you get to know me, you will know why I am laughing on that bad choice of words....! :(

So, thats my day so far. Besides thinking of what to enter here for the "real" first blog entry, I just watched online movies on also very depressing things (Hotel Ruanda and others). I wonder, when I ask myself last, if my choice of movies will affect my mood????

More to come for you.

Big Hug

MLB

PS: I wish, I were in Stockholm again. During a visit of friends two years ago, I had the great opportunity to see this beautiful capitol of Sweden. Anyone been in Stockholm lately?